Just like how we have a love language, we have an apology language. Understanding your partner’s apology language strengthens the bond in your relationship. In this article, you will discover your apology language as the receiver and giver of the apology. Which of these languages suits your personality?
Asking for Forgiveness
People who apologize this way usually say, “Please forgive me for hurting you.” If you’re the kind of person who apologizes like this, you shouldn’t demand forgiveness from the offended. So, if you ask for forgiveness, show humility and respect when given. This gesture can foster a better bond in your relationships.
Also, the receiver of this apology language should know how to forgive. Trust you’ve heard the phrase “forgive and forget.” It could be challenging to uphold that principle if this is your apology language. However, a good approach to forgiveness is to let the offender know how you truly felt and then come to a resolution by forgiving them.
Sincere Repentance
You can repent and fall back into that behavior that started the tension. So sincere repentance means taking measures to ensure you don’t offend your partner or friend. Some relationship experts describe this apology language as beating yourself up in a good way. Simply put, acknowledge that you did wrong and wouldn’t want to do it again.
Receivers of this language shouldn’t make those who apologize this way feel too bad about themselves. Sometimes, those who apologize this way take themselves down because they’re mentally weak. So they end up pleasing people at the risk of their mental health. Thus, receivers of this apology language should make the givers feel accepted and loved.
Making Restitution
My roommate in college, Abdul, was hot-headed. At the same time calm and understanding. He was telling me about someone who hurt him really bad; expressing that he didn’t want her apology. I tried reasoning with him to forgive her, but his response made me rethink my suggestions.
Abdul told me that he prefers actions to apology. So, if you offend him, you should take action to show that you meant what you said while apologizing. That stuff with me for a while as we stayed together for four years. You could also be Abdul. You prefer actions to an apology. This is why communication is important in a relationship.
In a relationship, partners should express their apology language to each other. This knowledge would help you know what to do when you offend your partner. Some people give material things to apologize; however, it isn’t worth it if you still fall into the same conflict.
Accepting Responsibility
You offer this type of apology language if you uphold accountability and understand your partner’s point of view. Showing accountability is almost like sincere repentance, however, you’re not beating yourself up here. You accept and acknowledge your mistakes and strive not to repeat them.
Also, receivers of this apology language should understand that it could be challenging for people to show accountability. Sometimes, receivers of this language intensify the conflict in a relationship because they want the offender to be accountable. Thus communicating how you like your apology to your partner goes a long way.
Expressing Regret
This language is the simplest and most popular form of apology. You express regret by saying, “I’m sorry” to the offended. Being sorry for your actions means you’ve acknowledged and understood the consequences of your behavior. However, this type of apology doesn’t work for everyone. You can be sincerely sorry for your offense, yet the offended won’t consider that an apology like Abdul.
People who like to receive this apology language are easygoing. They also try to understand the offender’s argument. In a relationship, these people resolve conflict quickly, given that the offender shows empathy for hurting their feelings.
Final Thoughts
The crown jewel of this apology language is communication. Assuming your partner’s apology language only makes the conflict more tense. Therefore, whenever you offend someone, try to enquire how to amend your mistake. Also, observe your partner’s behavior when they feel hurt by you. It helps determine the apology approach you should use to express empathy and understanding.
