Being the ‘Strong Friend’: The Hidden Costs

If you feel like you’re always the strong one in relationships, you aren’t alone. Many people claim to be the so-called \”strong friend\”, the one who everyone turns to when there is a problem or when they need advice or support. And while it’s great being the go-to person who has everything together, it also has its downside. How does this usually rewarding role sometimes come at your expense?

Emotional Toll of Always Being Strong

Being strong feels great – until it doesn’t. Having everyone turn to you when they’re facing a crisis is a confidence boost. It feels great to give back to people and to know that people rely on you when help is needed.

But this role is also draining. Many people who are strong friends tend to suppress their challenging emotions, including sadness, frustration, and anger. They take care of other people instead of taking care of themselves, which over time, is draining.

Taking on a strong role also fosters one-sided dynamics in relationships. You might feel as if you need to handle everything on your own because you can’t lean on other people. If people are constantly expressing their weaknesses to you, you’ll never feel as if they are strong enough to handle your “stuff.”

Mental Strain of Suppressing Vulnerability

Suppressing vulnerability takes a significant toll on mental health. When you feel like you need to constantly manage other people’s emotions, it can lead to feelings of resentment on your part. Nobody wants to feel as if they are carrying the weight of others’ problems, but this is often how the strong friend feels.

Three Tips for Staying Strong While Taking Care of Yourself

Set Boundaries

Your first step is to set boundaries in relationships and recognize when you’ve had enough. This doesn’t mean you care for the people in your life any less. It just means that you are making the care of yourself a priority. Learn to let people know when you’re overwhelmed and when you need to turn inward and give back to yourself.

Prioritize Self-Care

Speaking of giving back to yourself, self-care must be a priority. Taking the time to do things that invigorate you, such as journaling, meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax can make all the difference.

Be Vulnerable with Trusted Friends

No matter how strong you are, eventually, you’ll need support. Don’t be afraid to request it from the people closest to you. Communicate your needs. You might be surprised to learn that many of these people have been waiting for the chance to help you. They know that you’ve been there for them and they are eager to return the favor. Turning to people when you need help deepens your relationships and makes things more balanced.

Final Thoughts

Being the strong friend is a role that often goes unnoticed, yet it can come at a high emotional and mental cost. To avoid burnout and maintain a healthy balance, it’s essential to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and be vulnerable with those who support you. True strength lies not in carrying the weight of others alone but in recognizing when you need to be cared for, too.

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