You’ve met someone new. Either you chatted for the first time on social media, they DM’d you, or you met at a friend’s birthday party. However you met them, they’ve become a person of interest. You haven’t gone out yet. You’re still in the talking stage. This is when you haven’t gone out yet or made any commitments.
You’re basically getting to know each other, which is important. They seem interested, fun, exciting, and it appears they’re a great match. So, how do you move things to the next level by having a first date?
Show Interest
The talking stage can last from several weeks to two months. It can give you enough time to discover their interests, background, goals, and other key points. You can let them know subtly that you’re interested in meeting up. You could drop a few hints by listing fun places you’d like to visit with a friend. You could send heart emojis or tell them you feel a bond developing between you.
You could take the direct approach and say, “Hey, wanna meet at Starbucks in the morning?” It doesn’t have to be a traditional evening out complete with dinner and an interesting event. The goal is to take the first step toward leaving the talking stage.
Clear Intentions
Don’t beat around the bush. If you’re interested in a relationship, you must be direct. Don’t scare the person off by laying out a 5-year plan that includes marriage and kids. But be clear that you’re not looking for a phone buddy, but something more serious. Playing games is for children, so express your intentions to move out of the talking stage. If they’re not on the same page, it’s time to move on.
Set Boundaries
Be honest about how long you’re willing to stay in the talking stage. If they aren’t willing to meet with you, they may be in a relationship, or they’re not really interested. It’s better to find out in the early stages of talking, rather than continuing for months if it isn’t going anywhere. That way, you won’t waste your time with someone who’s bored or has found another interest.
Set a Date
This is a bold move, but initiate a meeting. Get tickets to a place you’ve talked about or schedule a picnic in the park. Determine if they are interested in leaving the talking stage or not. If there is mutual attraction, it should become a date. If you’re met with hesitancy or excuses, you must recognize it as a red flag.
A talk show host gave some interesting advice nuggets to women, saying that when someone wants you, nothing can keep them away from you. Also, never let them have to tell you twice they’re not interested. If someone is not interested in seeing you, they’ve already communicated it without words.
Moving Forward
So, you’ve met in person at Starbucks. You had a great conversation that lasted for two hours. You’ve gotten to know each other better. But you haven’t made it official. You’re not a couple, and you’re not really dating. What do you do? If there’s attraction on both sides, have the conversation. You’ve moved from the talking stage, so tell them you’re interested and ask how they feel.
If they don’t feel the same, it’s okay. You tried. Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to be authentically you and express what you wanted. On the other hand, if they’re interested in moving forward, your talking stage wasn’t in vain. Congratulations on going from the digital stage to in-person interaction.
Final Thoughts
Getting from the talking stage to officially dating might be somewhat awkward at first. But as the old saying goes, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” So, before throwing in the towel, show interest, set clear intentions, and boundaries. Then secure a date and move forward in your newfound relationship. With your talking stage officially over, it’s time to build your new relationship together, at last.
