Complicated emotions can find expression in a variety of unexpected ways. If you find yourself emotionally haunted by your ex, unresolved feelings could be involved. Regrets about ending a relationship could, for instance, factor in. This could also be the case if you are the one emotionally haunting someone. Even though the relationship is over, you may still be emotionally invested. Comparing everyone you meet to your ex is one way this can manifest. In your mind, your ex may be incomparable. However, someone new may also be nice. Working on moving forward can allow you to regain happiness and allow for romantic possibilities.
1. Three Ways of Emotionally Haunting a Former Love
Perhaps you are having difficulty moving on from someone you were in a relationship with. There may be a preponderance of residual emotion. You may think about this person all the time. In fact, one form of emotional haunting is mentally not moving forward. This may appear through conversations you start with others about your ex. There may be many of these conversations. According to Marriage.com, this “can be detrimental to forming new bonds.” There can be opportunities for healing and for moving on. It may take time, but it can be helpful to open yourself to these possibilities.
Social media adds another dimension to emotionally haunting someone. A second type of emotional haunting is engaging with social media accounts that your ex has. The urge to see what your ex is posting can potentially become all-consuming. Marriage.com advises: “This habit can keep you tied to your past relationship.” If you are sad about your breakup, the constant social media engagement may not help. Additionally, prioritizing seeing what your ex is doing on social media precludes meeting new people. It can get in the way of getting on with your romantic life.
There may be people all around you who may be interested in you. You may be overlooking these amazing people. A third style of emotional haunting is actively disengaging from new romance possibilities. This can take the form of comparing others to your ex. Nobody seems to be as wonderful as the version of your ex in your mind. Marriage.com states: “The constant comparison can prevent you from appreciating someone else’s unique traits.”
2. Three Indicators of Being Emotionally Haunted
Your ex may be emotionally haunting you through somewhat passive social media interaction. For instance, your ex may not be open to interacting in person or via phone. However, your ex continues to interact with your social media posts. Vocal Media states: “At times, they comment on your stuff or like your posts.” This combination of engagement and disengagement may be discombobulating. Additionally, you may not get a clear answer if you ask your ex to explain. Your ex may also seem to be trying to reach out, but ultimately backing away. Messages started may be left unsent, for instance. This may indicate an ongoing and complicated set of emotions.
Emotionally haunting someone can also take zombie form. According to Vocal Media, a relationship zombie is “a person who ‘unghosts’ you.” Ghosting involves disappearing from a relationship without explanation. Emotionally haunting for zombie purposes can take place after this happens. A recent ex may stay quietly in your social proximity. This ex may be trying on other relationships at this point. Your ghosting ex may then try to rekindle your romance and reappear. Vocal Media explains: “So they reach out. They act like nothing’s happened.”
Additionally, someone emotionally haunting you may seem to eerily know what you are up to. Perhaps this person talks with others about your activities or knows your schedule. This can be worrisome. Having someone keep track of your daily routines can be disconcerting. Vocal Media asserts: “Like stalking, it’s a way people exert a form of control.” It can be especially unsettling if you and your ex are not generally in contact.
3. Possible Underlying Reasons for Emotional Haunting
Perhaps your relationship did not gain a sense of resolution through closure. Marriage.com explains: “Closure is an essential part of moving on from a past relationship.” Without closure, thoughts and feelings can be unsettled. You may, for instance, replay interactions and try to chart different hypothetical conversational paths. Living without a sense of resolution can make healing from a breakup difficult. Emotionally haunting could be a way of reaching for closure in order to move forward.
Relatedly, perhaps there are still unprocessed emotions concerning events in the relationship. Marriage.com states: “Carrying emotional baggage from a past relationship can significantly impact your… well-being.” Having unresolved feelings floating around can impact how you approach the world. This impact can extend to how you engage with people in your life. Emotionally haunting someone you had a connection with can be an expression of these feelings.
Emotional Haunting as a Reaction to Emotions
If you are emotionally haunted by someone you dated, you may need closure. There may be unresolved feelings you would love to work through. You may be in an emotional state in which moving on seems difficult. Emotional haunting can include talking on a loop about your past relationship. It can also include time spent perusing your ex’s social media output. Whatever the forms, emotionally haunting an ex can hold you back from healing. Conversely, healing can potentially be difficult if you are the one who is emotionally haunted. It can be unsettling if your ex is taking an undue interest in your activities. It can be confusing if your ex does not explain social media mixed messages.
